Blinded
by little.earthquakes
Summary: When Bella and Alice are on their way to stop Edward on his suicide mission, Alice suddenly receives a vision of the Volturi changing their plans. Having erased all of Edward's memory, Bella gets locked up with a very thirsty predator. NewMoon B/E
1. Running

**BLINDED**

_A/N:_ Gotta admit, I'm a total sucker when it comes to predator/prey fics and while writing another one I had this idea and needed to type it down immediately. Lucky you, since my real life is on hold for a while. XD It was supposed be a one shot first but after I reached 15 pages, I decided to go for chapters instead, since I have trouble finishing stuff and assumed there would be enough pressure once it's out to for the read. Haha. The summary sounds weird, but the original one gave too much away. It'll be replaced once the story has been updated. Last but not least a huge THANKS to my Betas Michelle and Leigh. They're amazing and always helpful. (Yes I have two, because I can. XD)

_**Disclaimer**:_ These wonderful Characters sadly aren't mine. I just use them to create drama. Stephenie Meyer on the other hand is the rightful owner and I'll thank her forever for creating this awesome Love Story.

/&/

**Prologue**

I was running. Running towards an unknown future. Unknown, because there wasn't any guarantee that I would be part of it. Dying was a probability in this world of myths and monsters. And Alice had seen it, not just once. The creature snapping my neck, in thirst for the red liquid, tearing my skin apart with sharp venom drenched teeth and my eyesight slowly dulling, my body limp against his. But love made me a fool and hope never let me catch my breath. So I kept running, sending Alice new images of grief, toward the only person I loved more than my own life.

...

I felt the burn in my lungs when I set my feet faster after one another. The saltwater hadn't done them any good. And I remember Alice and I had been running before, in a mission to save the creature, after false information had led to false assumptions and he asked the most powerful vampire coven in the old world to assist him in his wish for death. The tower clock and the bright sunlight had been our worst enemies. And time made us almost fail.

But the plans of the immortal inhabitants of this city had suddenly changed and Alice received new visions. Pictures, offering a much worse nightmare in its finality for all the Cullens, and me.

A hammering pain pierced my rip cage, forcing my arms to wind protectively around my body. But I wouldn't slow down. I would never slow down. Not after Alice's face had twisted in a mask of pain and horror, not responding for seven entire minutes.

"_Alice! Alice!" I tried to shake her when we were driving wi__th 180 miles per hour into Volterra. Of course for all that mattered I could have tried to lift a mountain_.

_Silence__. Another hundred heartbeats passing, racing._

"_Alice, please snap out of it. What have you seen? What is happening? Is Edward…?" I couldn't say the words. They offered too much pain for continuing. Too much loss to bear for an already broken heart._

_But she __didn't react. She just stared blinded on the road, only conscious enough to not wheel the car around a tree._

"_It can't be too late." I whispered._

_Alice turned her head in slow motion__, looking directly into my shock frozen pupils. Her usual musical voice strained, hopelessness colouring every word. "It is!" _

I pushed my legs faster, ignoring the salty trails on my cheek.

"_They killed him already__." My words sounded detached. And my body prepared to faint, the hole in my chest shattering the weak tissue left by his rejection all those months ago. I couldn't live in a world where he didn't exist. My heart had nothing left to beat for._

I reached the clock tower but kept running further into the dark alleys of this old town. Somewhere here in the shadows they had waited for him, like ghosts. Waited for him to make the mistake of exposing himself to the world. Waited until they had gotten new orders and dragged him back to wherever they were settled.

"_No Bella, but they did something to him."__ Sadness spread over her face as she revealed a truth I'd never want to accept._

One I was running to prevent from happening. Even if death would be my trade.

I swallowed hard, remembering her next words.

"_He won't come back. He is loyal to their coven now, willingly admitt__ed to their lifestyle." She breathed in a low voice, anxiety clearly written in her eyes, asking the silent question none of us could answer yet. She shook her head in agony. "I don't understand. He is killing humans."_

Even now one hour later I had to sharply inhale. I couldn't picture Edward hunting people, couldn't see him doing this to Carlisle. He would never betray his father. It made no sense. The only thing that had kept me to this earth that precise moment was him still breathing. In her vision he had been alive.

"_He's not dead Alice! We have to save him." _

_She looked directly into my eyes and I knew in that moment that she couldn't see my decision changing anything. "Bella we need to speak with Carlisle. You can't go after him. It's too dangerous. I don't know what happened, but right now he is far from the vampire you fell in love with. He will attack you, no doubt."_

I came to a halt, bent over and rested my arms on my knees. Here in the shadows they still must hide. True monsters! The kind that lived on human blood. The one Edward was now following. Though I knew nothing would happen to me here in the light of day. They would never drain someone in the open. It would cause too much attention.

I scanned the area. My eyes knew what they were looking for. Pale faces, which appeared to be beautiful in their smoothness; dark red eyes, that caused the tiny hairs in the back of every human's neck to stand up right; and a voice that sang instead of talked, able to deceive the sense of self preservation.

I was here in hope to get lured away, willing to follow those creatures. They would lead to Edward, once they were aware, once they learned that I had been the reason for Edward forcing their justice in the beginning.

"_But …"_

"_No Bella!__ I won't let you get killed by my brother." There was no room for arguing. Her focus was already ahead in the future, watching for Edward, her family and mostly watching out for me._

_I sighed __frustrated and started looking out of the window. I couldn't believe for one moment that Edward would ever see me as his prey. He had kept me safe from the very first day we met, fighting his deepest desires over and over. Of course that had been a long time ago. Maybe now that he didn't love me anymore, that he didn't even know I was still alive and already committed to living the life of a real vampire, it made no difference to him whom he attacked._

I searched the empty streets once more but found nothing close to the gracious figures I imagined living here. I was completely alone. Lost in search for the enemy I remembered; it hadn't been a rational decision.

"_Bella, please don't do that."_

I wasn't even sure if the word decision had fit, me intentional stepping into the sunlight and suddenly being intrigued by the possibility of tricking Alice.

"_Bella, no!" __She called after me, trapped by the one rule every vampire had to keep in mind in order to live. The one Edward had planned to stress before. _

I wouldn't listen. The desire stronger than the rational mind.

"_I'm sorry, Alice, so sorry," I whispered and my plan was set on going after him. "But who knows what else they might do to him." And tears filled my eyes when looking into hers, betrayal clearly written in my best friend's face. "I have to try. I cannot not try saving him."_

There was a light breeze blowing through my hair, howling silent into my ear, but other than that I didn't hear anything except my own breathing. Didn't feel anything but my own heartbeat, yet out of nowhere they were suddenly there. Two tall boys with wintry skin, clothed in black robes, blocking my way in front and from behind.

"Hello pretty lady." One of them said in a deep singing voice. "Do you need assistance in finding your destination?"

I tucked a lock behind my ear and remembered to stay calm. I knew I was in grave danger. I also knew if I wanted a shot at getting to Edward alive, I had to come clean.

"Yes actually, I could use the help of some gentlemen familiar with this place," I said, smiling into their pale faces. "I'm looking for the vampire in charge of this city."

_And then it happened, as I was backing further away from the car, parked in the shadow of a huge tree. Alice glance shifted into the distance, her attention fully concentrated onto the vision my decision had enforced. _

The strangers exchanged a quick look and a third Vampire joined this gathering. She was much smaller and wore an innocent, yet much too smug expression on her face when she leaned in, speaking only inches away from my ear.

"As you wish, human."

And a shiver cold as ice ran though every bone in my fragile body as I let them take me to a second town lying underneath the city of Volterra.

_It took only a second for my future to alter. Alice's head kept moving from left to right and back again, in denial and sorrow for what was coming for me. Who was coming for me!_

"_Edward…" she breathed. And I understood. _

_One single tear dropped from my eyes __as I continued walking away from her. "I'm so sorry."_

_And then I started running._


	2. The Truth About My Beloved

**BLINDED**

_A/N:_ I want to thank you all for giving me such great feedback. It is the reason I try my best to update as soon as possible. I hope you guys like where I'm going with this because the next chapter will be awesome, I already know it. It won't be a long story though. I think all in all 4 or 5 chapters, including the prologue. :) Last but not least thanks to my awesome betas Michelle and Kate. I don't know what I would do without you guys.

_**Disclaimer:**_ These wonderful Characters sadly aren't mine. I just use them to create drama. Stephenie Meyer on the other hand is the rightful owner and I'll thank her forever for creating this awesome Love Story.

/&/

**Chapter One**

"Okay, human," the female vampire glared at me. "How do you know what we are? And why would you be so stupid as to ask us to bring you to our residence?" she said astounded. "I mean, it's not like you'll get out of there alive."

I looked directly into her crimson eyes, fighting the urge to panic when her razor sharp teeth formed a playful smile.

"Edward," my lips stated confidently, offering an answer to all her questions at the same time.

I heard the dark haired vampire, walking to my right, hiss at the name, as if it was a forbidden curse. As if my being here meant trouble for all of them. I tried to ignore him.

We passed the entrance that was hidden in a labyrinth of broken brick walls close to the very oldest part of the town. A tube system led from there about 600 meters into another, larger one. We walked through lots of chambers and rooms that were chiselled into already existing caves, only to be greeted with more tunnels, pointing into very different directions. I was certain that even if I'd wanted to flee, I would fail miserably.

The dusty air was enclosing the space further on our walk, and I packed the thought of not being able to find a way back into dayligth, in the very back of my head, replacing it with pictures of Edward. I was surprised that the hole in my chest hurt less and less the greater the danger became that surrounded me. My heart must be led by a gravity that always searched for his presence, allowing it to heal the closer I got.

After another staircase leading one floor down, a wooden door was opened and we came to a halt. I was told to enter the huge hall presenting itself in front of me. It smelled adoringly fresh in there and as I looked up I saw a giant window feeding the room with oxygen coming from the city above.

The three vampires hovered from my side and joined about thirty others watching from farther away. I swallowed. I didn't know what I had expected, but the unease that spread through my system when seeing so many of them blew a wave of sickness into my stomach. My heart started racing in fear like it was about to hop out of my chest. I felt trapped, which, telling the truth, I sort of was.

"Bella, my dearest Bella," I jumped in panic when a deep voice startled me, speaking directly behind my back. I turned around and saw milky eyes travelling fascinated over my entire body. "It's an honour meeting you," he said, excited, crumbling the wafer thin skin around his lips into a smile.

Frozen in place, without any mimic on my face, I stared at him.

His palm reached for me. "I'm Aro."

Nervously I bit my lips, not knowing how to respond. He seemed to be the leader of this huge coven. His posture, the way he dressed, as if having lived in an ancient time period, and the wisdom in his eyes, left no doubt about that fact. My throat seemed to be blocked by a huge lump. I didn't know what to do. But when thinking of the amount of vampire eyes resting on us, I offered politely my hand to him. Being rude in this situation wouldn't help my plan on finding Edward or surviving.

"The honour is mine, Mr. Aro, " I said in a quiet tone.

"Hahaha," he laughed, fascinated. "You are very welcome child. I wouldn't believe Verina when she told me _you_ just entered my house."

My brows knitted and I looked at him dumbstruck.

"She is a very gifted member of my coven," he explained while smiling down at me. "The moment someone enters my home, she knows exactly who the vampire, or in your case, person is. I have to admit though; I would have never expected you to pay me a visit one day, especially since I heard your funeral was yesterday." His snow white teeth were now right in front of my face. I swallowed audibly.

"I'm not dead. I just went cliff diving." I couldn't do anything about the blush creeping into my cheeks. It sounded silly somehow, in this situation.

His laughed out loud at my idiotic comment. "Well, your vampire friend seemed to be convinced otherwise by his sister's foreseeing. He was quite desperate to die."

Pain washed through me as pictures of Alice's shock frozen face flooded my head again and I remembered the moment she had seen him going to Italy the first time. I had passed out back then, sparing my heart this hurt for at least a few seconds. This moment I felt like fainting as well, not knowing what kind of fate had captured him.

I shook my head brusquely, clearing it from the memory, focusing on my task of finding him.

"Where is Edward? I want to see him, bring him home."

It was desperation that seeped into every word I spoke. Anxiety, that colored my voice as his name rolled off my lips. And once again I was surprised that my insides weren't ripped into shreds speaking it. Not even his voice filled my mind anymore, despite the threat I was surrounded by.

Aro's fingers glided along my face. His cold hand wanted to push my hair aside, but I took a step back, repulsed and frightened, demanding an answer.

"I'm afraid to say, dear," he glanced around the room, speaking to me and his audience as if to celebrate, "he has no desire to go back. He is a very trusted member of my guard now."

My eyes just closed, blocking the betrayal his words offered.

"I don't believe you."

Edward would never leave Carlisle and Esme without so much as a goodbye. Not this quickly anyway. He loved them. And he had suffered through his rebellious years. He couldn't kill innocent people. He had told me, he couldn't even kill the guilty ones anymore.

"Edward wouldn't want to drink human blood or leave his family!"

Aro smiled knowingly. "And yet he came here without any of them knowing that he wanted us to end his life."

That was true. Only Alice knew his plans, after his decision had enforced the tragedy in her head.

"Believe it or not child" he spoke in a very calm but amusing tone. "He was very eager to join us after we talked to him again." He leaned into me, whispering into my ear. "And he also very much enjoyed his first hunt."

I shivered and anguish filled my eyes as I imagined Edward bending over a lifeless body. There was so much wrong with this picture. There weren't even words to describe it, only one.

"No," I murmured and looked up to meet Aro's cloudy pupils. Hate was brooding from my insides the way salt welled up in the corner of my eyes. I couldn't let this fact sink in. Edward would never betray his morals. He believed in them. And I did believe in him.

"What did you do to him?! I want to speak with him right now! Where is he?" I croaked loud into the hall. My throat seemed sealed shut but I was standing my ground. I didn't care about the smug faces carried by so many red-eyed vampires around me.

Aro stayed calm, unimpressed by my fury. "You see Bella, Edward has been absent human blood for ages. Already, he can barely restrain himself from killing the few humans who live with us, and he is well fed. He is too important to us to just let him run out of the streets and expose himself when he is hungry. So we keep him in a save place, otherwise I assume I wouldn't have gotten the chance meeting you, Ms. Bella. I've smelled you through his memories. It's quite impressive that he has resisted this call for so long. You smell a one hundred times more delicious to him than any human I've ever tasted. And trust me, I never denied my cravings."

I didn't hear his speech. Couldn't. My ears didn't receive any answers. His words were empty to me.

"Where is he?" I repeated like a mantra.

"All this human blood sharpened his natural sense anew." Aro continued fascinated, as if I hadn't spoken at all. "It made him quite strong. He is feeling newly born, if you know what I mean."

I shook my head slightly, not knowing, not even focusing but somehow finally listening and sensing it was something I'd not like to experience.

"Edward isn't a killer. He would never hurt people," I said much too certainly, still trusting the image I had of him. Love had no space, no concept of judgment.

"Well, Bella," he breathed and leaned closer again. "If you can't remember all the noble reasons you've stopped drinking human blood, there isn't anything holding you back."

It took me awhile, yet the effect didn't lessen. Fear joined the lack of oxygen in my system for I was holding my breath. And my eyes widened, speaking for them selves. _'What do mean you by that?'_

Aro just smiled, taking the hand of a young female beauty into his frosty one. "Meet one of my dearest friends, Talana. She is very gifted," he said in awe. "Makes you forget whatever she wants. Just a few seconds," his eyes stared deep holes into mine, "or … an entire life."

... ... I felt cold.

Freezing cold. And my lips started to tremble as the words left his mouth and their meaning registered in the centre of my consciousness. I blinked several times and was now in need of oxygen, sucking the air in short gasps.

It was stamped into the present time with the echo of Aro's voice. The truth I had been running to prevent from happening. And it all became clear then. Why Edward could be part of a life he once loathed. Why Edward would live on human blood. In his reality he had never met Carlisle, didn't remember the lesson he'd learned from murder, didn't know there was a family that loved him.

I wallowed in my sorrow for his soul and for once I could see it. His reasons for rejecting my wish to become a creature of the night. I didn't want for him to become the monster either, the one he had fought so many years to control. He wasn't the bad guy. Didn't deserve to be turned into one.

My torn emotions were visible in my angry stare; I made no effort of hiding them. "He can read minds. He knows what you're thinking. He knows what you did and your real intentions are." It was a thin straw I was holding onto, I could admit this much but hope was a constant prayer, throbbing with the pulse of adrenaline in my blood stream.

Aro wasn't bothered at all by my statement. "We did our homework Bella. Carlisle is not the only vampire doing studies on his own species." He smiled and spoke to the crowd again. "Edward is in a special room right now. The walls contain a metal no vampire can break through, neither with strength nor with the mind."

I looked at him taken aback and wished more than ever that I could just wake up from this nightmare of events.

"We have to control his power and his instincts to protect him. He is after all very talented." He nodded in awe and circled me. "He cannot read anyone's thoughts at the moment, dear." The he hesitated, putting his forefinger onto his lips. "Besides it wouldn't be wise to have him join us. You wouldn't be alive very long."

"Edward would never hurt me." I blurred out. But I wasn't so sure anymore. In that moment every memory of him became suddenly cloudy in my mind, as if they would vanish, fading slowly to grey, the way they had in Edward's head. And I felt empty imagining the numbness coming from inside. I had lost, I knew it, and in the world of vampires this meant 'forever'.

"Well, we're about to find out."

And I understood within seconds. The future I had chosen myself when I left Alice behind in the car. His name coming off her lips. And the tears I had cried beforehand.

"I know too much," I breathed, following his train of thoughts.

"Well Bella, it's hardly fair if someone other than my dearest friend Edward would have you. He had denied his craving for your blood long enough."

My glance fell on the ground. This was the part where I got to see Edward one last time before Alice's vision would come true. So many decisions had led to this point and yet I couldn't let go the thought of saving him.

"It wasn't the smartest thing dear, to visit us without anyone to protect you." Aro stepped closer to me again and eyed me with pity. "But I suppose you got your answers."

I nodded slowly.

"Now go and get your goodbye, Bella. I promise, you won't suffer, he's very quick."

---

Even in the face and knowledge of death, I wasn't afraid of the creature they were sending me to. My heart betrayed me still, healing rather than breaking at the thought of meeting Edward as my death angel.

I was shaking though, in fear of what I would witness. Without his memory it would be as if meeting him for the very first time and yet the gleam of hope was still glowing, even though the flame of success seemed miles away. He'd once told me a vampire can't forget. I wasn't aware of how much I was holding onto this promise, until now as my fate was decided.

The blonde female, Jane, led me out of the room and into a chamber at the very end of the cold floor we were passing. Edward would be in there, so I was told, waiting to be fed.

I ran a hand through my messy hair. I was nervous and afraid, for I knew that after the little time Aro had offered me with Edward being 'held back', the monster in him would break through. I knew very well, even well fed on animal or human blood, he would never be able to resist mine. My red liquid being the sweetest for him, would tempt the monster now revealed. I _was_ going to die and he would be the one taking my life.

"Hey, little human," Jane spoke through the curtain of my thoughts. "Look at it this way: At least it won't be a stranger ripping your throat out. You get the chance to see him one last time," she chuckled.

"He'll hunt you down once he gets his memory back." I looked at her out of my blurry eyesight.

"That's just the pretty thing about this all, he won't!"

Right in this moment she opened the huge steel door. It sounded heavy and left a rigging sound in my ears. They truly seemed to have constructed a room, from which a vampire couldn't break out. A newborn vampire must to be a handful of work when he wasn't in control.

She pushed me through the opening and my eyes adjusted quickly. It was no large room, the size of a garage maybe, but it appeared to be even smaller as I smelled the rusty old blood being spread on one of the walls.

"Don't get irritated. Most newborns fall into such a frenzy while they eat, they don't even realize the mess they're creating," she said, clearly disgusted.

I almost bent over and puked when images formed in my head. Blood drained from my face and I had to sit down on the cold ground.

She chuckled amused. "You won't find him being nauseated by it."

I followed her gesture and this was when I saw him, waiting, ducked in the shadows. My hand flew to my mouth in anxiety and my lungs filled with air. And my heart, even when skipping a beat to admire this beautiful creature, ached.

There was nothing human about him. There wasn't even much of the guard Aro had talked about. He acted wild as an animal, for I could sense he was completely running on instinct. In fact the comparison with a mountain lion did fit him the most. And yet, even this animal looked broken.

He was crouched in a corner, dirt and dried blood sticking to his skin and his once white shirt was hanging loose in scraps. If done by him or others I couldn't tell. His feet were bare, his hands in chains.

I could only assume they were made out of the same material as this room. Unbreakable for the creature tied up in them. No willpower left to the one who owned it. This image left me bleeding.

"Edward!" I screamed in agony, my voice breaking the same second.

His head turned in response and a low growl formed deep inside his chest. A warning, a threat. Never had he ever growled at me. Did he really not know who I was? Frozen, I stared at him and the sound returned. Deeper than before. And his nostrils widened.

I knew he smelt the blood that rushed through my veins with maddening speed. Adrenaline now pumping with it, making it sweeter. Then he shifted and I could see his eyes for the first time. They were coal black and the dark shadows surrounding them left no question about his biggest desire. He was hungry.

"See, Bella." Jane said, making me and Edward flinch at the same time. "It's not something personal, I can assure you. But truth be told," she continued and glued her much too calm gaze onto mine, "he needs to be freed from you. He has too much potential for us to let him go."

My bottom lip started quivering and I looked back at Edward again. As if to confirm her words he growled louder. There lay no kindness in this creature's eyes. He was a predator and for the first time in my life I truly feared him.

"Why is he leashed?" I asked her softly.

"Because where would be the fun in just throwing you in? Besides, Aro is a fan of love stories. You can do your prayer before he drains you." She patted my head like I was a stupid child not understanding an adult subject. I stepped quickly away from her. I didn't want her to touch me.

This made her laugh and Edward sniff the air some more for my blood was racing in panic.

"Anyway… have fun, you two." Jane said playfully and turned around. The impact of the door locking was the next and the last thing that made a sound. After this there came silence.


	3. Predator And Prey

**BLINDED**

_A/N:_ Okay now we have my personal favourite chapter. I just love it to death and I can assure you you'll wanna choke me for the cliffhanger. Haha, sorry. It really wasn't planned that way. I swear!!!! It wrote itself and I'm kinda proud. LOL. I learned that Jane is actual a brunette and not blond. Well let's just pretend she dyed her hair or something 'cause I don't wanna change this fact in the middle of the story. I'll do it once it's finished. ;) Chapter 4 will be awesome as well, I can promise this much. But now enjoy this one and please tell me what you think!!!

_**Disclaimer**:_ These wonderful Characters sadly aren't mine. I just use them to create drama. Stephenie Meyer on the other hand is the rightful owner and I'll thank her forever for creating this awesome Love Story.

/&/

**Chapter Two**

My eye lids closed for a moment, blocking out the impossible situation I had brought myself into. I had been a fool to believe this could end well. Love just had never given me a choice and if had an opportunity to change my decision, I was fairly sure I'd run into his predatory arms the same. It seemed our fate could not be separated. Free will was turned into a need for my beloved that was greater than life itself, keeping my heart beating. I would trade everything, without thinking twice, to be close to him.

The room was dark, cold and somehow damp. Only one way out and in, the rest was unbreakable stone and steel. I zipped my jacket closed and rubbed my hands together to get some heat into my system.

When I was breathing at a normal speed, I faced Edward again. His observant eyes followed my every movement. Lying in wait, deciphering my weak spots, planning where to break my skin first.

He was far from the vampire I had known, or had thought to find here. I could see that now. All my memories of him seemed like reflection in a broken mirror, a reality that had never existed. And yet I needed to hope. It was the only option left; the only way to keep existing in this world of his, like me and him, it was wrong, but pure and unavoidable. And so I couldn't just not try to make him listen. If he wasn't able to place me, he might remember his family, the ones he loved, once I started mentioning them.

I breathed in deeply. "I'm sorry I came to find you Edward. I know I shouldn't have tricked Alice and waited for Carlisle but I was afraid…"

"Rrrrrrrrrr," a fierce growl interrupted me and I closed my mouth quickly. The names meant nothing to him and I had to swallow hard.

I stretched my neck into his direction for I couldn't see his face very clearly. He was completely hiding in the shadows of the corner again. From the sound he made though, his brows must sit deep. He was angry. Or maybe just really thirsty? Or hurt? He must have fought against the other vampires, surely not willingly putting on the chains. He must have tossed with his arms and legs being stuck into this cell.

And there is was. Worry, tucking on my insides. And slowly, very slowly, I got up from the ground and took a step towards him. My subconscious told me I had completely lost it, but my heart betrayed it. I needed to know if he was in pain.

I reached my hand out towards him as I walked forwards, offering peace. He was about twenty feet away and eying every step I took closely.

"I missed you," I breathed.

And his growling stopped. I did too. Silence fell over the room.

Then, like a lightening strike, like an arrow pointed at me, he shot out of his corner, snarling, his eyes open in a wild glare. It happened so fast, I hadn't even time to scream. Shocked, hurt, and frightened, I stumbled back. The chains on his arms kept him only inches away from my face.

With eyes wide open I stared at him. Tears spread through my view and every load of oxygen that I sucked in burned my lungs with roaming fire, still not over my latest cliff diving experience. I felt my knees buckle and sink to the ground in one fluid motion. And as my shaky hands couldn't catch me there, I rolled on my forearms and cried in agony for the loss of my love. This creature still fighting against the chains in front of me wasn't Edward. It was his shell filled with the monster he had fought his entire life.

It was hate, hunger, anger and loneliness all in one body.

And so I also cried in grief for him. His innocent soul was no longer untouched. If he ever gained his memories back, he would never forgive himself.

The ripping of chains stopped after every attempt of him getting them off failed. I looked up at him, my view a total blur. He stood now still as a statue and his black eyes were watching me again. Following every slight motion my body made, shimmering smooth under his long dark lashes. He was beautiful, that bloodsucking killer.

I sniffed and put a strain of hair behind my ear.

"You know." I started in a low voice, "they're doing this to torture us both" and pointed at the iron chains around his wrists. He growled again in response to me talking, but it seemed like he listened. It was maybe just a one third of a second and I couldn't be sure but I thought he peeked at the metal shackles for just a moment.

The question sure enough was visible in his eyes now.

"They enjoy me having to see you like this. They know it breaks my heart." I explained and with the back of my fingers I wiped tears from my eyes. "But mainly it's because they want to break you." I stated with more force in my voice than before.

His brows furrowed as he let my words sink in. I had no idea if he understood what I was even hinting at. But his head bent and he watched my face more closely.

"You would never hurt me Edward. You couldn't." I shook my head. "But now that your memory is gone, you can't remember that." I wailed when new tears dropped down my face. "Yet they know it will cause you pain."

And I couldn't hold the sob any longer. My lips pulled downwards and the hole in my chest opened so wide, I feared to fall into it and drown in the sea of hopelessness it offered. My arms went around myself but they fought a losing battle on keeping my heart in place. And in my agony I focused on the only thing that could keep me from falling and drowning.

Edwards face.

Even here in this dark hour, while wanting me to come closer, waiting for me to make that mistake, it was sacred. And it kept me sane.

He watched me in silence. His expression suddenly worried at my break down. What must this predator think of its prey crying in front of him? He surely had seen it. I imagined people begging their hunters for sparing their life. Could he see the difference? Did he sense that I cried for his life more than mine? I didn't know.

I smiled at him softly through the curtain of hair and dried salt on my skin.

"You know." I whispered, my voice thick from crying. "At least it's you. You, who ends my life and not one of the other vampires." I swallowed heavily, thinking about Alice's vision, picturing my broken body pressed against Edward's stone chest. It was unhealthy how much I longed to at least memorize the feel of his skin before he would part his lips and bite down.

Edward's eyes narrowed at my words, as if he knew something but couldn't place its meaning. He took a step backward, considering.

I knew very well, that hope was one of the last things I should let myself feel, but I couldn't help it. So I made the mistake of getting up and following him.

It was crushed in an instant. He came back at me within a second, snapping wild the air where my neck would have been if I had just stood a little bit closer, snarling frustrated when the chains again wouldn't give in.

I sighed, defeated, sad. If I had listened to Alice… If I had just waited… No, there wouldn't have been a way. I don't think Edward would have gone with Carlisle. He didn't remember his father or his vegetarian lifestyle. I wasn't even sure he knew who he was.

I slid down the wall with my back pressed against the cool structure and my arms wrapped around my knees as my chin rested peacefully on them. I smiled at him, he hissed in response, but I didn't care.

"I never stopped loving you," I said and my voice drifted miles away it seemed. "Your face was in my dreams and your voice in my head all that time you weren't with me."

"Rrrrrr" The sound was more like a purr this time and he kneeled down in front of me. He had that look again, the one when we got to know each other for the very first time. Frustrated, wanting to decipher a secret that wasn't for him to know.

I chuckled. "You won't be able to hear anything. I'm the one exception to your mind reading."

A low growl formed in his throat.

"Deal with it, vampire!" I said straight into his face. He scowled. And I had to laugh, humourlessly of course, and shook my head. He looked so human right now. So much like _my_ Edward.

"I wish I would have never jumped off that stupid cliff. None of this would have happened," I confessed, as if he knew what I was talking about.

The mentioning of the cliff got me a very disapproving pair of eyes resting on my face. The black of his irises made this look much more of a threat. I shied away from it. I couldn't look directly into this ocean of night, afraid of getting lost, knowing he lowered his posture, ready to attack again the second I responded to it. So my glance fell sideways and my eyes closed tight.

Edward truly wanting to kill me suddenly overwhelmed me. And my hands hastily covered my ears and I began to hum. Familiar tones rang out my throat, capturing the memory of his velvet one when he sang my lullaby at midnight, holding me close, lips pressed to my ear. It seemed ages ago but the song still calmed me down and wrapped my broken heart in warmth.

"Mmhm mmmm – hmm mmm mmmmm"

My lips trembled and my voice shook but I managed to hum louder, filling the silence, pushing the tears back into my eyes.

"Mhhmmm mm – mm mmm mhm mm mm – mm mmm mhm mhmm"

I had to swallow from time to time, the freed emotions too overwhelming by the tunes. I hadn't heard, let alone imagined my own lullaby for so long. And it felt good. If I would die in this chamber, then I at least had _my_ Edward, even when reduced to a shadow of his own composition, close to me.

I opened my lids for a moment to complete the picture of my angel, with an admiring glance at his beautiful face. To my astonishment he stared directly into my eyes, boring holes into my brown and glassy pools of sadness.

"Mmmhh mm- mmmm –hmm mmmm mhh mmm m"

His head bend as he intensified his stare and I could literally see the wheels turning in his head; could sense how they came up with nothing and the origin of his questions making him angry all over again.

So I stopped singing, not wanting to irritate his beautiful face, which was for moment not seeing me as target to satisfy his thirst. But when it was silent again I watched him frown, as if he didn't understand why I _would_ stop. As if he wanted to think harder about the melody, needing to place it.

It made him take a step into my direction and a pleading look smoothed out his features. My heart skipped a beat. He wanted me to continue.

I sniffed and sat a little more upright. With trembling in my voice I started the first lines of the lullaby again. Much clearer and louder, a gleam of hope surfacing with it again. And tears fell down from my eyes this time, for my heart rejected the hope in a weak attempt of saving itself the pain when failing.

"Hmm mm mmmm mmm hmm-mmh m"

He leaned in some more. Focusing on my humming and scanning every line of my face, my lips. His black eyes glowed with curiosity.

I could only avoid his gaze for so long. When our pupils met, I was taken aback by the intensity of his stare. It felt like he could touch my insides and an electric jolt ran through body. We were only inches apart. I flinched but held his stare.

Cold as ice he blew his breath into my face and a delicious sweet breeze clouded my mind within seconds. I lost focus and stopped humming. My eye lids closed heavy for I was drawn to his every being and inhaled the air coming out of his mouth in long gasps.

He watched the effect he had on me, fascinated, repeatedly breathing right into my face, obscuring my mind just the same. I was dazzled, wanted so badly to hear his voice lulling me into a sleep with dreams full of us being one.

But there was no dream, only a nightmare and he never said a word, though I was fairly sure he could talk. His thoughts too straight forwards, too primitive, he chose to not voice them. And really didn't need to. I could read everything from his mimic. Yet I had no idea what his mind told him he saw in me.

"Edward." I breathed softly and leaned into him. "It's me, Bella." And I opened my eyes so he could _see_.

A growl rumbled deep inside his chest but it was quiet. He focused on my face and watched every tiny movement of mine. I could swear he lifted his hand from the ground to reach out and touch my cheek, curious about his own need to feel me. But I had to swallow, his action making me aware of the tickling inside my stomach, and his attention was brought back to resting on my neck, my pulse hammering only millimetres under my skin.

His fingers balled into a fist and I was sure the venom burned his throat. Disappointed I got up and walked to the opposite side of the room. I had been convinced he felt something deep down inside, even though his mind was emptied. But the illusion of him remembering was over, my heart ached. This game was tiring and I sensed that I shouldn't proceed with making him understand. He had no memory. It was for me to grasp that I couldn't change anything.

For an unknown reason I felt that the clock holding the cord for my life had ticked its last second. This was it. There was only one message I had to deliver for him, a last attempt to make him safe.

My gaze fell onto the walls around us as I spoke my last prayer. "If you ever meet Alice, Carlisle, Emmett, Esme, Jasper, or Rosalie; then remember that they are your family and that they love you."

I inhaled deeply to fight new tears. It occurred to me in that moment that I might not see any of them ever again. "Please promise me that you'll listen to them, their minds, and go with them. They're …"

The sorrow stopped my speech and also the noise of a lock being unlocked. My head snapped around.

I heard the door open and looked up to Edward who stared right back at me with a mix of indifference and worry. I peeked over and sure enough saw Jane appear in the frame.

Immediately my heart began to race with fear. Would she be the one now that got to kill me, since Edward's chains didn't break? My body started to tremble without my knowing.

Edward took the picture in, in silence, his smooth brows furrowing. Then his eyes narrowed to slits and his posture got tense as he looked up at Jane. I could sense the low rumble building in his chest as she got closer.

"So you're still alive huh?" Jane said, dancing into the cell and throwing me an innocent smile. "I thought it's nicer to have a proper goodbye this time."

This hurt. She hit right to the core of pain, reopening an old wound that was never meant to heal.

"Heard he bailed on you, all those month ago," she laughed again and my arms took my ribcage in a tight embrace, keeping my heart from shattering at the memory of him not wanting me anymore.

I looked at Edward. His eye lids were tightly closed, his head turned lightly to the side as if feeling guilty for something that wasn't even part of his consciousness.

Jane walked over to me. I wanted to flee but there wasn't any place I could hide, so I sat in fear and didn't even flinch when her cold hand lifted my chin.

"I really don't get it," she said, unimpressed twisting my head from one side to the other. "You should have seen how eager he was to step into that sunlight." Her head was shaking slowly.

From the corner of my eyes I peeked at Edward who now looked right back at me with an unreadable expression.

"Anyway" Jane sighed, annoyed. "Chit chat is over."

She laughed at me and so quickly that I didn't even feel it, parted the skin right under my chin with one of her fingernails. Blood started to ooze from the wound, filling my nose with the smell of rust.

In that precise moment Edward lunged with maddening speed forward, snarling, snapping angry at Jane. If to threaten her for coming after what he surely claimed as his prey or because of my bloods inviting scent, I couldn't tell. His wild glare made guessing difficult. One year ago it would have been to shield me from the danger of another vampire coming too close to me. But right now there was no black and white, only a grey layer of assumptions.

The beautiful blonde didn't like Edward's attitude towards her. She hissed something I couldn't understand and in response Edward worked harder against the chains, almost ripping his own arms off.

"Amazing isn't he?" she whispered into my ear. "Who could have known that such a wild and strong creature was bottled up all those years under the cover of animal blood?"

Then a smug smile suddenly appeared on her lips. "Such bad manners the newborns display nowadays," and her eyes met his. In under a second he was on his back, wriggling against an invisible enemy causing him pain. His face twisted in suffering agony and his entire body was shaking in fright.

"Noooo!" I shrieked and ran towards him. Preserving my own life was all forgotten. There was no room to grieve for it. His pain was mine, his fate mine as well. I shuttered, my heart couldn't bear this image.

My fingers found his cold hand immediately, rubbing it, trying to soothe. "What are you doing to him?" I screamed at her, tears welling up my eyes.

Edward didn't respond under my touch, his eyes wide open, unfocused in silent shock from a torture that must happen inside of his head.

"Don't worry, human. He'll be fine," she said bored.

"You're hurting him!" I yelled into her face and comforted Edward's cheek with my hand. I leaned down, letting my tears shower his skin.

"Shhh. Don't be afraid. It's all just in your head." I whispered low. "Just don't believe it."

His eyes, still full of agony found mine. And a questioning somehow, trusting expression, crossed his face, before the tragedy found its master and one drop of my blood landed right on his upper lip.

... ... It took only one heartbeat for me to register the widening of his pupils. And two heartbeats to inhale deep and double my pulse.

Then his tongue darted out and he licked his lips.


	4. Beneath The Power Of Instinct

**BLINDED**

_A/N:_ You hate me, I know you do. I'd be upset as well, waiting for an update this long but let me explain. The last month has been crazy. I got a job, had to find an apartment and move there. Then there was christmas and a writer's block. Oh and one of my beta's went missing. :/ And now i'm a full time worker and find hardly time for the Twilight fandom at all. It's a miracle that I was able to finish this chapter. I hope you like it. :) It was the original idea for this fic. I had this scene in my head and couldn't let go of it unless I wrote it down. There won't be a bad cliffhanger this time, since I have no idea when I will be able to update again. I'm not that mean. ;) Haha. So forgive me for being late and enjoy reading.

_**Disclaimer**:_ These wonderful Characters sadly aren't mine. I just use them to create drama. Stephenie Meyer on the other hand is the rightful owner and I'll thank her forever for creating this awesome Love Story.

/&/

**Chapter Three**

He tasted heaven, life, absolution and sweetness all at once; I could this tell by the way his body tensed, aching towards the source of endless bliss. And everything seemed like in slow motion from that moment on, but going too fast at the same time, nevertheless. Every muscle of his went rigid while a hungry gaze froze his features. The rage his thirst enforced after swallowing my blood was beyond anything I ever imagined. He had once told me how dangerous my being close to him when hunting would be. I didn't believe him then. I believed him now.

My spine would have been broken without my knowing if Jane's stare hadn't been holding Edward back. His eyes held so much violence, so much want and need. It seemed even the young female vampire had to struggle keeping him down. His fingers, although curled from torment, reached for my neck. He was convulsing heavily and his teeth were exposed. He craved me, more than anything in the entire world.

"I would step away if I were you." Jane tried to sound amused, but I could clearly hear the strain in her voice. She wanted me to move, to not lose control over him. He'd rip her to shreds, blocking the hunter.

So I forced myself out of the current shock and got myself together, stepping rapidly away from him. My entire being was shaking. I hadn't even tears left to cry in my fright, but I could hear my breaths coming out in short gasps.

Edward was fighting. Fighting so hard against the invisible pain, but much more so against the chains, and Jane, to get to the source of pure satisfaction: my life essence. And I hated myself for wishing she wouldn't let go of him. Hated how I prayed she was stronger than him. Hated the tearless cries leaving my lungs and showing my world crumbling to dust. I felt safe, felt grateful, knowing that he couldn't do anything against her gift. And I already begged the monster lusting after me for forgiveness, for I was not better than Jane.

What had I become? A much worse monster, for sure. This was wrong. How could I wish for my beloved to be kept tortured because I was afraid to face his true nature? I loved everything about Edward, his dark side being a part of him; I could not turn on him, ever.

And so when she loosened the chains, to only hold him down with her brutal mind and succeeded, the filthy truth of my relief crashed into my brain, almost knocking me off my feet. It took me only a moment to realize the slow but steady pull in my chest, as if pearls dropped down from a necklace, stringing the rope tighter around my throat while doing so. It was foreign, this need, the wish for Jane to win this fight. And it was cutting a deep, throbbing wound into my heart when I heard the strange sound ringing in my ears as I felt it breaking. The epiphany of my cruelty let me have the last tears inside my empty body. The pain shot across my ribcage while my heart beat picked up.

My glance landed on his face, and when I saw his black orbs swallow my innocent soul from afar, already planning the kill, there was no salt left in my lids. Only acceptance. I was his; his only. Never had it been different. He shall have me finally.

"Leave us alone." I whispered with a broken voice.

Jane looked up one moment, questioning my demand, but had to return quickly to the task on keeping Edward bound to her mind games. His agony hurt me more than my fear of dying. I wanted her to stop, to finally stop.

"I want to be alone with him." Anything…anything to take away his pain. "Please?" And my red swollen eyes found hers.

I was sure her silent nod was due to her weakening hold on him and not some sudden flash of pity or kindness. Keeping her gaze on him, she started to back away. Unexpectedly though, I heard a clicking noise and my eyes shot wide open. I had to cover my mouth so I didn't scream. She had opened the last one of the iron straps around his wrists, breaking him free for good!

Of course she would, the game was over.

I stepped backwards until I was blocked by one of the walls. Then I heard the metal make contacts with the floor as the shackles fell off Edward's arms. My eyes stayed somehow fixed on them, not wanting, not needing, to see him getting up.

Jane forced all her power on him one last time, I assumed, to get herself out of the room before he had his strength back. She must feel his anger towards her, breaking him in the first place just to cause pain.

He snarled angrily at her when she released him finally from her stare, self preservation ranking higher for a few short seconds.

"I wouldn't try Edward", she said. "You'd be down again the second your teeth came any close to my skin."

He only growled louder; he was furious with her. His sharp white teeth were exposed and his lips curled back as he opened his mouth and stepped in her direction.

Jane was out of the room before I could even blink, stealing herself from the already tense situation rather than testing the theory of newborn vampire strength. And the door closed again. Edward and I were alone.

...

I heard him chuckle. As to having scared off Jane off or to finally being free to go after his prey, I didn't know. But his laugh sounded dark, throaty, and his attention sure enough was fixated back on me within seconds. He began to circle me, my scent attacking his senses anew.

Edward's movements were cat-like, like a lion stalking its kill, coming ever so slightly closer, the movements gracious and silent. He had never been less human or more beautiful; had never been less controlled or more passionate. He was an angelic, dangerous predator, hesitating, yet possessive.

And it looked like play of cat and mouse when Edward bounced towards me only to come to a halt inches before making contact. Suddenly he was gone, and then back again, in front of me within half a second while growls erupted in his throat. Then he ran to the farthest corner of the room. His long lashes hid the dark smoldering eyes. He was excited, adrenalin driven, continuing the circles.

I eyed him warily, never flinching. My breathing was rapid, yet the fear was absent. And I stood very still the entire time, not belonging anywhere but there. He stopped mid track and lowered his head, his teeth showing a ravenous crooked smile, and the monster gestured with a curled finger for me to come over to him, inviting me with a dazzling pair of black irises.

I wanted to follow, but instead my eyes closed in defeat and I shook my head. I didn't have the strength for a game. I was too sad. And always too forgiving.

"No," I breathed. "Just come over and end it already." I opened my lids for him, watching his puzzled expression. He didn't understand. But also didn't care enough to keep on wondering about my odd behaviour. He grumbled with anticipation, coming closer to me from behind my back.

And, out of nowhere, his guttural growl was next to my ear, his cold breath tickling my neck. His fingers brushing away my hair. He was so close, so undeniably close, and my body betrayed me again, reacted without my knowing, leaning into him. My heart had never beaten more out of pace. It was a live wire, craving for his lips to come near my heated skin. It didn't even register in my mind when I lay my head to the side to give him better access to my neck. ~_Stupid lamb~_

I heard him shakily breathe at the invitation before his nose skimmed the area along my throat, and I could feel all of his body pressed against my back. I almost moaned, for I felt complete for the first time in months. My eyes shut as I waited for teeth to sink into my hot pulsing liquid. He inhaled my scent deep into his lungs and the tip of his tongue landed on my flesh.

And then…he was gone.

Furious snarling echoed through the chamber not long after. I turned around, stunned by his behaviour. Insanity pushed even feelings of rejection into my system.

I saw him scowl at himself. He looked clearly upset, and his glance was torn, focusing on nothing in particular. Edward was utterly confused and seemed to not be able to make anything out of his actions either. He snarled at me as if I was the reason for his misery, and his lips curled high over his teeth. Then he crouched down, fixating on his prey, and lunged forward.

And my mind drifted, for I had never pictured my life to end like this. Eaten by the one person I would give my life to save, locked up 22 feet underground, in a small chamber of Volterra. But when his arms wound hard around my torso, his lips coming closer to rip out my jugular artery, I could see it, the way Alice had. _His crimson eyes glowing in the dark, human blood dropping from his sharp teeth and me lying lifeless in his cold embrace. _

Yet I didn't fight. I didn't run.

Not because he was so much stronger than me. Not because he was so much faster, but because I loved him. And if my blood was all I had left to offer, I would willingly surrender. And so it happened that I looked at this god-like creature, my murderer, with glassy eyes, awestruck by his mere existence, defeated after months of surviving a purposeless life, and welcomed him.

The impact of our bodies colliding when he crashed into me was softer than expected. (Not that bruises would matter anyway.) I felt his clear, icy breath dance over my skin, and my eyes lids pressed hard together when I waited for the pain that was about to come. But he tightened his hold like a cage around my shoulders, taking me by surprise. I heard a snarl and then the most beautiful sound in my entire world, ringing through the darkness of this hour. His voice.

"What are you?" He breathed, accusing. "Who are you?" He had stopped half of a millimetre away from my skin, and his velvet tone wrapped me into a blanket of butterflies and spread a warm tickle inside my belly.

"Every time I think about attacking you, my heart starts to ache like a flame would eat on its middle." He spoke in anguish. "Every time I'm about to bite you, I experience pain worse than coming from her." He pointed at the door, implying Jane. And I concentrated on breathing evenly. I felt the danger radiating from every stone-made cell of his body as he spoke, still so close, with his teeth on my pulse.

"But your scent is a call that can't be silenced." He continued and his fingers were slowly gliding down my exposed throat. "I need to have you."

I swallowed, holding as still as a statue.

"Yet it's a drug I cannot have. It makes my venom taste sweet, but changes into a bile bitter burn when I try to taste you." He looked directly into my eyes now. Tortured, confused and clearly in pain. "Are you my personal demon?"

Broken. That was the word my subconscious was searching for. He was broken from the inside. He didn't know what haunted his every being, and it tortured him because he sensed an answer he didn't have tools to reach out for. But there was more. His eyes. Something in his dead, pained glare was vivid and alive when gliding into my brown, pleading pupils.

"No." Tears I didn't know I had loosened were streaming down my face when his familiar voice reached my ears, and his words formed a possibility I had given up a long time ago. One I wasn't prepared to hope for ever again. But the self denied truth that hit me with force wasn't one I could block, and at the same time, it couldn't have been more painful, or more healing. It put the shattered pieces one by one back together in a room full of mirrors and reflected a picture I hadn't allowed myself to dream of. A truth that bound us, wanted or not, to a whole and pushed my singing blood through dried out, now awoken vessels.

The voice, his hallucinated echo, I had heard all those months spent as a shadow whispered encouragement to me now, letting the most beautiful lines spoken by Romeo to his Juliet push the clouds of doubt from my mind. And I never thought it was possible to believe the words that rolled off my tongue.

"You love me, Edward."

But I did, still, after they were spoken. And I knew immediately they were true. He was keeping me alive. Right this second and all the ones before. Even though it was unconsciously, while his entire being longed for my blood, some unspoken knowledge didn't allow his teeth to cut through my flesh.

"Your mind might be blinded, erased, but your heart can't be betrayed." I breathed into his cold chest.

Edward's eyes narrowed and his head bent a few degrees, looking at me cryptically as my words sunk in. I prayed that he remembered something. I wished it to happen. But when a silent growl erupted deep from his chest I knew that he had come up blank.

"I'm Bella, Edward. Your Bella," I whispered urgently.

His nose came closer again, gliding along my jaw and his cool breath blew over my skin, making me shiver. I longed for his touch, but knew I was in grave danger, wanting him much closer. He was a hungry, uncontrolled vampire still, and one swift motion of his hand could break my bones to dust.

He growled and tightened his embrace, stressing the bones of my ribcage. My breathing became stiff. And I hated my hormones for being traitors in this situation of growing hazard. Hated how his closeness was never enough.

"Are you afraid?" he asked threateningly, obviously not having an epiphany of his own.

I swallowed hard and was very aware of the movement my throat made with it. My pulse raced only millimetres away from his tongue.

"No," I whispered, unable to say it out loud in fear it wouldn't sound true.

"Rrrrrrrrr" He growled again, frustrated, irritated. His face was so close, our lashes almost touched.

"I love you too." I breathed low, and my warm inviting scent attacked his nostrils.

He was gone in the blink of an eye, pacing on the far end of the room. I watched him curiously. He was snarling, ripping chunks out of the wall. He even kicked the door in an attempt to get it open and run. But the vampire proof metal wouldn't give way. He scowled, then eyed me again, with a mask of pure anger on his face. Then he bounced, and I was suddenly in his arms again. With his mouth wide open, hovering over my exposed neck. Again. I could feel the tip of his teeth on my skin. His sweet breath came in short gasps. He growled in frustration, sighed even, and pressed into me, pinning me down to the ground.

"Why can't I have you?"

It was an accusation, a question his stolen mind couldn't work through. I held still, didn't move so the razor blades that were his teeth wouldn't cut me accidently.

His lips moved to my ear again, his jaw clenching before he spoke very slowly. "I want to slice your throat open, you frail little human, and suck out every drop of… life you… poss-" Agony stopped his speech mid sentence. The words he formed and the need didn't go together with the grief he had in his heart if he would succeed.

And I dared to touch his arm with one of my fingers. "No, you _don't_ want this."

He lifted his eyes to mine and the blackness searched for an answer that would make sense of the emotions he couldn't place.

"No, I don't," he said defeated. And I felt it too, the both desires tearing him apart. And he asked the same question again with so much pain and lack of understanding.

"Why can't I have you?"

I lifted my hand now to his face, slowly, ignoring the rumble forming in his chest, and placed my fingers lightly on his cheek. His eyes closed when my warm skin made contact with his coldness.

"Because you can't kill what you swore to protect." And I leaned my head closer to his and watched him open his eyes slowly. His lids were narrow, but I could clearly see a light shade of red reaching his eyes. Did he sense something beneath the layer of instinct that was mine? Something still, unmoving, once as alive and erratically beating as my own in this moment? I could only hope, stare back at him, and trust.

Edward lifted my chin up to meet his gaze. He was not aware of blowing air directly into my face, when concentrating on my features. And the sweet delicious scent hit my insides without warning and I was suddenly light-headed again and forgot every danger that was surrounding me. I was in my angel's arms and his breath made me feel like home.

He watched me intensely, alarmed, shying a little bit away when I inhaled him deeper and my lips came closer to his. The still fresh blood on my chin was drawing him in again, and the scent encouraged his thirst. His eyes turned flat black.

But it didn't matter anymore. Because I didn't care what would happen. I gave into the feelings I had for the monster hovering above me, and I knew it was stupid. But my death was a certainty at this point either way, and if I was to be eaten by a hungry vampire today, then I wanted Edward to deliver it, to finally belong in some way. And so I didn't hesitate any longer.

Carefully I pressed my mouth to his, took him by surprise, and pulled him close to meet my kiss. My lips melted into his immediately and my tongue glided along his soft cool skin. The sweetness intoxicating my senses. And while my eyes fluttered shut for a moment, his went wide in frenzy. So I pulled back when feeling his lips curl over his teeth. To linger would have been selfish. Our love wasn't meant to be simple, only to last.

Edward's body was trembling, so was mine. But while I was under the spell of passion, he was in desperate need to bite me. Yet he looked a little bit taken aback. Speechless even. He blinked several times. Then his glance went down to his chest were he clutched the place his heart was resting, and looked back at me, wondering.

I smiled at him. "Felt good didn't it?"

I could see it clearly, yet it was almost impossible to believe. His eyes changed into a reddish golden color and became two of the kindest I've ever seen. He nodded, and met me to rest his forehead against mine. My hands came up and buried in his hair. Salt formed in my eyes and my voice got thick from all this tension falling off of me. "I love you. I love you."

Sad eyes met mine after we calmed our frantic breath, the man inside him caged by a demon and the monster, haunted by emotions, so very human. And if he could cry, he would have. Instead his finger came up to touch my lips. I kissed it.

"It's not your fault you can't remember," I told him silently.

He stroked his thumb lightly over my cheek, and watched as I blushed a deep shade of red. His responding smile, though, never reached his eyes. He looked lost, and when I intertwined my fingers with his, I felt his arms hug me closer, lifting me carefully off the ground and into his lap. He breathed into me, shuttering at my tempting smell, yet needing it to reassure that I wasn't a hallucination. _~sick masochistic lion~_

And I kissed the corner of his lips again before his face pressed into my neck and we sat there quietly holding each other in the dark room. And for a moment it didn't matter that he didn't know who he was, because for all the things he couldn't remember, his heart had recognized me.

---

**to be continued...**

_A/N: AWWW, I know. :) _

_...So the story would have maybe 2 more chapters.. If I get carried away, maybe three but that would be it... unless some of you had a great plot idea continuing the story a little further. Meaning, if one of you is being a great muse I might turn this into a longer fanfic. Can't make any promises though. And you'd have to be patient for updates, since I have a real life now, that needs lots of attention. :/ _


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